A Letter From Coach Bernadette
I know how this feels: I've been there too!
After my divorce, I felt scared, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. It was hard for me to even imagine what it would be like to start dating again.
I worried it was too late for me to find true love. I worried all the "good ones" were already taken. And I was absolutely petrified at the thought of online dating as a 40+.
As it turns out, I worried too much! That's why I wrote this short letter: to help other divorced women, just like you, understand there is hope after divorce.
Reentry is a tricky time, and it requires more preparation and self-awareness than merely how best to market yourself with a great computer profile. (Though such advice helps - no question about it!)
If you are looking for a safe and happy landing, reentry needs some solid-state understanding of the process. To move from that romantic free fall toward a loving connection, you will have to navigate an intensely emotional, uncertain, and unsettling period of time.
The internal forces that will drive you during this period – your own individual fears and longings, your lifelong romantic patterns, and your acute reentry needs – are powerful, unexpected and erratic.
It would help to have some meaningful self-knowledge to steer a safe course. Yet your capacity for introspection and self-awareness may well have atrophied during your marriage or motherhood, when you focused so much on taking care of other people that you lost close touch with yourself. The change of identity will creep up. It’s best to be ready for it.
Compatible Connections was born from my own uncertainties after my divorce. After doing an autopsy on my marriage, I realized in the end, like it or not, dating and true compatible love are less about whom you meet and more about who you are. It’s a time for understanding who you are and catching up with the woman you’ve become. After all, you’re not only going back to the game of romance, you are also returning mentally to the last time you played it.
Everyone goes back into the game in her own way, but there are common success and failure patterns from which you can learn.
There are basic dating and relationship skills in which we could all use a refresher. More important there are mistakes you can avoid, pitfalls to steer around if only you could see them coming. And, just as every satellite needs to align itself properly to assure a successful reentry, you will need to adjust your attitude to best survive the atmosphere of romance.
It’s your turn, and I want you to take it!
A return to dating doesn’t have to be emotional whiplash. As your personal Certified Dating and Relationship Coach, I’ve already done the training, founded two Signature Series based on compatibility, took them out for a test drive and found my husband on eHarmony! All you have to do is become a compatibility student open to learning what makes a loving relationship last and what you need to know before you pick your next life partner. Our two Signature Series show you how a better understanding of your compatible traits will help you find and keep the love you want.
If I can do this, so can you!
You Deserve True Love,