Each Tip addresses a specific challenge, problem, or blind spot divorced daters might face as they head out for their Friday & Saturday night dates.
Social media posts have a way of "disappearing" from people's feeds after a day or two, though, so we decided to create an online gallery to showcase all of our Dating Tips.
Scroll down to explore our past Dating Tips. Hover & click on a Tip card to see its full text. Click on the "X" when you're done reading and you'll be automatically returned to the last card you clicked.
If there's a topic you'd like us to address in a future Tip, we'd love to hear from you! Use the form at the bottom of the page to share your request with us.
The Never Ask Question On A First Date
The average single woman goes on 25 dates before wanting to see one of those guys again! Listen, ladies, it's not just the men who are making mistakes on first dates. We all fumble the ball, and one of the most common mistakes people make is asking cliched questions that give the impression of being lazy and not putting much thought or effort into the date. It's like telling your date you're not really interested.
I've already googled "best first date questions on a first date" and so have thousands of daters! So don't even go this route. Let me save you the trouble and tell you they're terrible and they won't get you a second date if that's what you're after!
The only way to show you're an interesting person and want to genuinely get to know the person you're sitting across is to ask questions that would tell you if you're compatible.
And if you think "Tell me about yourself" is a great question to seek out compatibility you're dead wrong! It's a lazy question shows no creativity, interest, or imagination. In fact, your date now feels like he's being interviewed and that's a really bad move on your part. Who wants to feel like their in an interview on a date? Not many!
In fact, it's such a bad question, if you're with an assertive personality type, they'll going to push back on you for asking it. You'll most likely to hear a response something like “ So you want to know something about me? Why don't you get more specific in what you're looking for?”
Congratulations! Now ... you're feeling stupid realizing this date is not going well and your date just flipped your question back on you!
Many people do not realize how important questions are on a first date. It's the main reason most people do not get second dates.
If you want to have great first dates, you have to come to the date prepared with exceptional fun, light, and flirty questions that seek out compatibility. When you get to know how to ask these specific types of questions everyone has a good time even if you're not compatible. They make for a very unique and fun experience for both of you. You're most likely to leave learning something new even if you wish each other well at the end of the date!
Avoid The Bonding-Over-Baggage Trap
Yes, it’s always nice when things click and you’re able to move beyond superficial topics and have a real, meaningful conversation. But it’s also important to understand, especially on a first date, that trying to bond with someone over baggage is a bad idea.
You may feel like sharing a formative past experience is bringing you closer together. In reality, though, opening up to someone too soon is more likely to push them away than draw them in.
Intentionally or unintentionally, your date may try to get you to reveal more about yourself than you really should. If you sense this is happening, tactfully change the subject. If your date is someone worth seeing again, they’ll understand that part of your life is only open to people you know and trust.
Are Men Really Intimidated By Successful Women?
When it comes to dating, we can be our own worst enemy – without realizing it!
Successful women hear this one all the time – “You’re probably still single because men are intimidated by you!”
Nothing could be further from the truth! Gone are the '60s and '70s when prevailing gender norms still prescribed men as the breadwinners and women as housewives. Most men are completely comfortable with your achievements.
If you're entertaining this dating myth, immediately give it up! It's keeping you single.
A woman who knows what she brings to the table is never afraid to eat alone!
Not Making It Over The First Date Hurdle?
It's because the date went “BLAH!”
- Eagerness can be flattering but comes across as desperate.
- Ms. Too Nice or Ms. Pleaser on a first date starts to feel annoying.
- Overkill flattery is experienced as neediness.
Instead, maintain a little mystery, have an edge, wear your confidence with a winning smile while engaging with creative Compatible Connecting Questions! (my specialty).
Don't let your first date go BLAH! Find their sweet spot to stimulate upbeat intriguing banter. It's your best bet of getting that second date, a good read on a potential life partner, and relationship quality. People may not remember what you say but they will always remember how you made them feel.
Do You Talk Too Much?
There are no shortcuts to real and lasting intimacy! If you’re still in the early stages of a relationship, and you have a need to communicate, you should be mindful not to share too much about yourself too soon. Oversharing is a surefire way to scare off compatible partners. Keep it fun, light, and flirty!
Get Your Flirt On
It’s not polite to keep compliments to yourself!
When you see a guy you would like to strike up a conversation with, give him a compliment.
Then be ready to ask an irresistible insightful question (about him) to see if you’re compatible!
Have fun and always remember to wear your confidence with a smile!
Is Your Relationship Picker Broken?
It is if you’re divorced, find yourself settling, date the same “type” over and over, or say yes to a mediocre match.
Nothing personal, 67% of all second marriages end in divorce! Most of us are naturally bad pickers.
So, what can you do when your man picker is off?
Give up random dating for dating deliberately. Dating deliberately means you become curious about the people you meet, focus on yourself, and what you’re looking for in a relationship asking curious questions.
I’ve worked with hundreds of divorced women who found this challenging. But give it a go and see what happens!
You just may be pleasantly surprised.
Pay Attention To What Matters & Listen For Compatibility
First dates are all about getting to know someone, but what exactly do you want to know? Surprisingly, few of my clients can answer this simple question!
By the end of your first date, the single most important thing you need to know is what the man in front of you cares about. Sometimes, this will be obvious. This might, for example, come up in conversation.
Other times, this may be subtle. You’ll have to listen carefully to his tones and observe his body language. In either case, you’ll know he’s talking about something important when his tones change, and his energy levels rise.
I call this “listening for compatibility” and it’s important because, without compatibility, you’ll struggle to turn a promising romance into a lasting partnership.
What To Avoid During A Video Chat
What you share on your first video chat has an enormous impact. If you’re looking for a prospective partner it’s important to steer clear of psycho-babble.
We all know psycho-babble when we hear it. “How does that make you feel?” “I’ve worked on myself.” Leave the “I” statements and feeling talk for later. Give yourself time to get to know your date and give your date time to get to know you, before steering the conversation into deeper water.
Avoid Boring Stories
First date conversations can be a bit of a minefield. Of course, you need to share more than yes or no answers, but you also need to avoid launching into long-winded, overly detailed stories that make it all about you. If you find yourself saying things like "Well ... and then ... and next … Oh, and then ... But ..." you're probably getting boring. Cut the story short and segue into something else.
Before your first date, prepare a list of "compatible questions" you can ask to keep the conversation flowing. These questions will help you filter out bad matches - and spare you the trouble and heartache of ending up with the wrong partner. You shouldn’t have to go out with hundreds of men to find your one and only! You need to know how to recognize compatible men that want the same type of relationship you do. And that all starts with asking the right questions!
Are You A Flasher On A First Date?
The Flasher divulges negative personal information about herself on a first date, often without realizing it. This is typically labeled "baggage," and it lands with a thud on the "con" side of the inevitable pro/con list your date is tallying for you in their head in real-time. Don't end up being the "yes she was great but" girl after a first date.
Get to know men better before you open up your personal files because if you don't, most men will take a pass.
Texting After A First Date:
Text, Chase, Or Back Off!
After a great first date, clients always ask me: “What should I do now?”
My answer is simple: “I want you to do absolutely nothing.”
I completely understand what it’s like to finally meet someone you’re excited about...especially if you’ve been on a string of bad dates and (almost) given up hope. This is the one time in your modern, empowered, I-can-make-anything happen life when it’s in your best interest to sit back and be patient.
Why? Most men like to take the lead and women need to encourage them! Yes, they also like to know that you’re interested and that you’re not playing hard to get. But in their minds, there’s a fine line between encouraging and pursuing. Send them a “thank you” email or text after a great night out and you risk stepping over that line.
Remember men are natural hunters when it comes to dating. So, hold back … for now. He’ll come after you if he’s interested. Promise.
He's Your Date ... Not Your Girlfriend
One of the biggest mistakes single women make when communicating with men online is speaking to them as if they were one of their girlfriends.
Men do not need details! They prefer the bottom line.
When you’re first messaging a man online, your exchanges should be laser-focused on getting to know each other. Keeping things light, asking connecting questions that align with what’s important to you, and speak to the relationship you want.
Successful online daters understand the point of messaging is to seek, sort, and select only compatible men who are looking for the same type of relationship. They never have bad first dates because they know how to prequalify men for compatibility and can predict relationship quality by the end of a first meetup. They quickly find ideal life partners.
If there's a topic you'd like us to address in a future Tip, we'd love to hear from you!
Use the form below to share your suggestion with us.