Dating Tips

3 Things To Simplify Your Dating Experiences & Stabilize Your Emotions

Dating can be exhausting.

Dating can be exhausting😱

Here are 3 Dating Tips to help you simplify your dating experiences and stabilize your emotions.

1. Stay away from dating books with lots of rules. Dating involves two unique people. One size does not fit all. Your time would be better spent learning about how men and women are different.

2. Do not take things personally. It's not about you! Instead, connect the dots between what makes romantic relationships last and how to find Mr. Right for YOU!

3. Go out and have fun expressing your interests! Women who "look" happy while enjoying themselves are naturally attractive! Men will notice you!

Here’s to your new dating focus and finding Mr. Right for you❤️

Do You Talk Too Much?

There are no shortcuts to real and lasting intimacy! If you're still in the early stages of a relationship, and you have a need to communicate, you should be mindful not to share too much about yourself too soon. Oversharing is a surefire way to scare off compatible partners. Keep it fun, light, and flirty!

Are You With Mr. Right or Mr. Right NOW?

When you begin dating after divorce, it’s exciting to get lost in lust, or caught up in the chemistry between you!

The compliments feel fabulous, the dates are adventurous and who doesn't like sipping wine while watching a sunset?

A month turns into two, then comes 6 months, a year and before you know it, you’ve been together for years!

It's true time flies when you’re having fun!

There’s only one thing wrong with this scenario; do you know you’re with your Mr. Right? I’m guessing you really don’t know for sure.

I’ve worked with hundreds of divorced women who have ended up in long-term relationships only to be blindsided by a hurtful breakup.

It happens when they finally get the courage to ask about their future together.

Sadly, you can’t get these years back. As a divorcee, it’s in your best interest to realize timing is everything!

The best time to begin asking the “hard” questions is BEFORE you have any skin in the game!

You don’t have time to waste with the wrong men and you need to protect your heart.

Don’t assume the perfect strangers you meet are on the same “relationship page.” Many men prefer dating casually.

Marriage isn’t for everyone; neither is living together without a commitment.

Protect your heart, and ask the important questions before you give your heart away.

It’s much better to discover what you "need to know" sooner rather than later. It hurts a lot less too!

This is why I teach women, like you, The Science Behind Forever After.

It is in your best interest to keep all the control until you know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less.

Become the confident conscious dater you need to be while dating in a fun, light, and flirty way!

Timing IS Everything! No one wants to end up alone.

My 6-Week Series: The Science Behind Forever After - Partner with Yourself First tells you exactly what you need to know so you can be sure you choose the right partner. Includes 101 "HARD" Questions and 50 Ways to Meet Quality Men!

Being a confident conscious dater is key to finding the love of your life.

I’d love to cheer you on into your next romantic relationship and show you how to protect your heart from being broken again. Date only men who want you for who you are that will say "I can't believe I met you!"

Here’s to finding your “Right One!”

He's Your Date ... Not Your Girlfriend

One of the biggest mistakes single women make when communicating with men online is speaking to them as if they were one of their girlfriends.

Men do not need details! They prefer the bottom line.

When you're first messaging a man online, your exchanges should be laser-focused on getting to know each other. Keeping things light, asking connecting questions that align with what's important to you, and speak to the relationship you want.

Successful online daters understand the point of messaging is to seek, sort, and select only compatible men who are looking for the same type of relationship. They never have bad first dates because they know how to prequalify men for compatibility and can predict relationship quality by the end of a first meetup. They quickly find ideal life partners.

Shortcut To Finding Mr. Right for YOU 💕

You’ve met a terrific guy.

You’ve traded smiles and maybe after an awkward start, you’re having a lively conversation in which there’s some sexual tension.

Now what?

How do you find out what he’s really like?

Find his "sweet spot" in a fun, light, and flirty way.

The biggest dating mistake women make getting to know someone is they don’t make conversations fun, light, and flirty!

Who doesn’t enjoy a little flirting?

Who doesn’t want to show the suitors they meet that they’re fun to be with?

Finding someone's “sweet spot” comes with some prep work.

Everyone is a flirt!

But most of us hold back from fear or lack of knowledge. Flirting is a natural ability. You just may need a coaching session to turn your flirt on!

If you want to ace your first dates, get in touch with your natural flirt.

Natural flirts are comfortable in their own skin and come from sincerity when they compliment you.

Pssst ... every great first date begins with a compliment!

Not Making It Over The First Date Hurdle?

It's because the date went “BLAH!”

Remember: Eagerness can be flattering but comes across as desperate.

• Ms. Too Nice or Ms. Pleaser on a first date starts to feel annoying.
• Overkill flattery is experienced as neediness.

Instead, maintain a little mystery, have an edge, wear your confidence with a winning smile while engaging with creative Compatible Connecting Questions!

Don't let your first date go BLAH! Find their sweet spot to stimulate upbeat intriguing banter. It's your best bet of getting that second date, a good read on a potential life partner, and relationship quality. People may not remember what you say but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Budding Relationships: MEN & SEX

Have you ever gotten butterflies at the start of a budding relationship because you like the person so much you just don't want to mess it up?

You're not alone.

Working decades as a dating coach for women, I’ve noticed sex is coming into play much sooner than most women expect.

When this happens, I love sharing my favorite quote from Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady and Think Like a Man. “Men want to sleep with you – end of story!”

A man always has a plan and will act accordingly. I call it their GPS: Girl Positioning System. Yes, ladies, it’s natural.

The best advice I can give you is to have a plan when the “sex topic” gets initiated.

You don’t have to worry about messing things up when you follow your standards. We all want to be loved for who we are.

The men who deserve the “cookie” will wait if he respects you.

I don’t believe in playing games, but I do believe if you want to know if the guy who gives you butterflies is interested in staying around, he’ll respect your values. And if he goes “Poof” you just dodged a bullet!

Pat yourself on the back! You got this!

Please share this with your friends. Let’s protect each other’s hearts💕

Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others

Did you know there are 6 Statistical Truths to landing Mr. Right for you?

Dating is convoluted; you never know what you're going to get!

Here's your guideline for MARRYING Men, based on 7 statistical truths from my Series The Science Behind Forever After - How to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less.

If you want to marry:

1. You must insist on it.
2. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship move on.
3. Commit yourself to the idea of getting married. Never settle.
4. Love Yourself first - Live your Values and honor your worth.
5. Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance.
6. Time can be your worst enemy. Use time wisely in your search for that marrying man. Have fewer dates with quality men who are open to marriage.

7. Date Deliberately seeking compatibility. (the glue to all relationships)

Coaching can land you the husband of your dreams, without wasting years of your life wondering and waiting for the BIG "C" (Commitment)

Let's get you into that romantic relationship you've always dreamed of.

Grab this opportunity to learn how to build confidence, attract quality men, and create lasting love. Learn what makes relationships last and how to choose the right man.

Here's a FREE Discovery Call with certified dating coach Bernadette.

You deserve TRUE love❤️

Schedule on our website:
http://compatible.click/discovery

Don't Open The Ex-Files

One of the major mistakes women make dating after divorce is opening "the Ex-Files" too early in the dating process.

Many of us innocently fall into this trap when our date asks, "So...what's your story?"

(By the way, this is one of the worst questions men can ask on a first date! It lacks creativity and lands heavily on the receiver! )

Men who date divorced women are genuinely curious about how they became divorced, especially when they're friendly, kind, and pretty.

The best way to handle this question is to politely suggest it would be a conversation for another time.

To be perfectly honest, your date doesn't know you well enough (yet), so don't feel guilty holding on to your personal information until you know him better.

Don't become someone's story to tell, be the hero of your own story...and only share it with people who earn your trust!

Are Men Really Intimidated By Successful Women?

When it comes to dating, we can be our own worst enemy - without realizing it!

Successful women hear this one all the time - “You're probably still single because men are intimidated by you!”

Nothing could be further from the truth! Gone are the '60s and '70s when prevailing gender norms still prescribed men as the breadwinners and women as housewives. Most men are completely comfortable with your achievements.

If you're entertaining this dating myth, immediately give it up! It's keeping you single.

A woman who knows what she brings to the table is never afraid to eat alone!

Don't Dwell On What Went Wrong

Instead, focus on what to do next!

Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.

This is so true when it comes to dating!

The best way to find your answers is to ask yourself the "right questions" beginning with what makes relationships last!

Once you know how to connect the dots between what makes relationships last and choosing the right partner, you'll be empowered to take action and get the relationship of your dreams!

A compatible relationship = an extraordinary life ❤️

Pay Attention To What Matters & Listen For Compatibility

First dates are all about getting to know someone, but what exactly do you want to know? Surprisingly, few of my clients can answer this simple question!

By the end of your first date, the single most important thing you need to know is what the man in front of you cares about. Sometimes, this will be obvious. This might, for example, come up in conversation.

Other times, this may be subtle. You'll have to listen carefully to his tones and observe his body language. In either case, you'll know he's talking about something important when his tones change, and his energy levels rise.

I call this “listening for compatibility” and it's important because, without compatibility, you'll struggle to turn a promising romance into a lasting partnership.

Judgment: The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer

Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons when you’re looking for Mr. Right For You.

Men and women are both guilty of judging relationships too soon and potentially missing out on that partner they so desire.

Have you ever made a comparison where someone came out ahead?

Have you ever assumed and found out you were wrong?

Do you tend to “overthink” the behavior of the men/women you date?

We all do; it comes naturally.

Unfortunately, this practice will keep you on the singles market for years.

They say patience is a virtue true, but I find non-judgment is the utmost dating skill to master.

We tend to forget it takes time to get to know the people we date.

When you are truly mindful, you watch your experiences and thoughts as they pass by and through you. You do not dramatize. You do not judge.

It’s like watching a movie, scene after scene passing before your eyes, you observe the story but do not become a part of the plot.

This practice is the only way to allow people to show up being themselves while feeling comfortable in your company.

Fire the Judge!

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your quirks and weaknesses and still thinks you’re amazing! ❤️

Texting After A First Date

After a great first date, clients always ask me: “What should I do now?”

My answer is simple: “I want you to do absolutely nothing.”

I completely understand what it's like to finally meet someone you're excited about...especially if you've been on a string of bad dates and (almost) given up hope. This is the one time in your modern, empowered, I-can-make-anything happen life when it's in your best interest to sit back and be patient.

Why? Most men like to take the lead and women need to encourage them! Yes, they also like to know that you're interested and that you're not playing hard to get. But in their minds, there's a fine line between encouraging and pursuing. Send them a “thank you” email or text after a great night out and you risk stepping over that line.

Remember men are natural hunters when it comes to dating. So, hold back … for now. He'll come after you if he's interested. Promise.

The Never Ask Question On A First Date

The average single woman goes on 25 dates before wanting to see one of those guys again! Listen, ladies, it's not just the men who are making mistakes on first dates. We all fumble the ball, and one of the most common mistakes people make is asking cliched questions that give the impression of being lazy and not putting much thought or effort into the date. It's like telling your date you're not really interested.

I've already googled "best first date questions on a first date" and so have thousands of daters! So don't even go this route. Let me save you the trouble and tell you they're terrible and they won't get you a second date if that's what you're after!

The only way to show you're an interesting person and want to genuinely get to know the person you're sitting across is to ask questions that would tell you if you're compatible.

And if you think "Tell me about yourself" is a great question to seek out compatibility you're dead wrong! It's a lazy question shows no creativity, interest, or imagination. In fact, your date now feels like he's being interviewed and that's a really bad move on your part. Who wants to feel like their in an interview on a date? Not many!

In fact, it's such a bad question, if you're with an assertive personality type, they'll going to push back on you for asking it. You'll most likely to hear a response something like “ So you want to know something about me? Why don't you get more specific in what you're looking for?”

Congratulations! Now ... you're feeling stupid realizing this date is not going well and your date just flipped your question back on you!

Many people do not realize how important questions are on a first date. It's the main reason most people do not get second dates.

If you want to have great first dates, you have to come to the date prepared with exceptional fun, light, and flirty questions that seek out compatibility. When you get to know how to ask these specific types of questions everyone has a good time even if you're not compatible. They make for a very unique and fun experience for both of you. You're most likely to leave learning something new even if you wish each other well at the end of the date!

What To Avoid During A Video Chat

What you share on your first video chat has an enormous impact. If you're looking for a prospective partner it's important to steer clear of psycho-babble.

We all know psycho-babble when we hear it. “How does that make you feel?” “I've worked on myself.” Leave the “I” statements and feeling talk for later. Give yourself time to get to know your date and give your date time to get to know you, before steering the conversation into deeper water.

Are You A First Dater Flasher?

The Flasher divulges negative personal information about herself on a first date, often without realizing it. This is typically labeled "baggage," and it lands with a thud on the "con" side of the inevitable pro/con list your date is tallying for you in their head in real-time. Don't end up being the "yes she was great but" girl after a first date.

Get to know men better before you open up your personal files because if you don't, most men will take a pass.

Avoid Boring Stories

First date conversations can be a bit of a minefield. Of course, you need to share more than yes or no answers, but you also need to avoid launching into long-winded, overly detailed stories that make it all about you. If you find yourself saying things like "Well ... and then ... and next … Oh, and then ... But ..." you're probably getting boring. Cut the story short and segue into something else.

Before your first date, prepare a list of "compatible questions" you can ask to keep the conversation flowing. These questions will help you filter out bad matches - and spare you the trouble and heartache of ending up with the wrong partner. You shouldn't have to go out with hundreds of men to find your one and only! You need to know how to recognize compatible men that want the same type of relationship you do. And that all starts with asking the right questions!

Avoid The Bonding Over Baggage Trap

Yes, it's always nice when things click and you're able to move beyond superficial topics and have a real, meaningful conversation. But it's also important to understand, especially on a first date, that trying to bond with someone over baggage is a bad idea.

You may feel like sharing a formative past experience is bringing you closer together; in reality, though, opening up to someone too soon is more likely to push them away than draw them in!

Intentionally or unintentionally, your date may try to get you to reveal more about yourself than you really should. If you sense this is happening, tactfully change the subject. If your date is someone worth seeing again, they'll understand that part of your life is only open to people you know and trust.

Is Your 'Relationship Picker' Broken?

It is if you're divorced, find yourself settling, date the same “type” over and over, or say yes to a mediocre match.

Nothing personal, 67% of all second marriages end in divorce! Most of us are naturally bad pickers.

So, what can you do when your man picker is off?

Give up random dating for dating deliberately. Dating deliberately means you become curious about the people you meet, focus on yourself, and what you're looking for in a relationship asking curious questions.

I've worked with hundreds of divorced women who found this challenging. But give it a go and see what happens!

You just may be pleasantly surprised.

Get Your Flirt On

It's not polite to keep compliments to yourself!

When you see a guy you would like to strike up a conversation with, give him a compliment.

Then be ready to ask an irresistible insightful question (about him) to see if you're compatible!

Have fun and always remember to wear your confidence with a smile!